The A to Z of Peep Show
The best sitcom of all time, alphabetised. Reading it will be way less challenging than a tracheotomy.
A is for Apollo House.
There is no microclimate around Apollo House.
B is for Baguette.
Got a headache, need a baguette.
C is for Cor Anglais.
Gog wants much, much more Cor Anglais.
D is for Darty.
A place with no equal in terms of quim shimmying.
E is for Energy.
The world is comprised of two basic energy types - Stress and Relaxation
F is for Fuck Off, Clean Shirt.
How do you get your shirt so clean, mate?
G is for Gerard.
Yalta modeller, doll collector, Dobby Club member, man with limited attributes and a tube up his nose.
H is for Hans, Super Hans.
No logo in the foam.
I is for Ian James.
Sophie thought it just sounded better than James Ian, and her decision wasn’t influenced by Mark’s missing the Christening whatsoever.
J is for Johnson, Alan Johnson.
Let Mark count the ways he admires the organisational and interpersonal skills of thee.
K is for Kenny.
Kenny cannot be found in Mark’s flat or the balcony just outside Mark’s flat.
L is for the Lamb and Flag in Garsington.
The last one to lunch is a loser!
M is for Mark Corrigan.
Author, (senior) credit manager, RNLI supporter, father, seeker of The One(s), bandito, owner of broad feet, an honourable man.
N is for Naan.
Ordering four naan between three people is a well-documented instance of insanity.
O is for the Orgazoid.
Swimming a few laps, unreleased demos of Borneo Function, and hand shandies for new trainers.
P is for Pete from the band.
Fuck off Pete!
Q is for Quantocks.
An idyllic country retreat; the perfect setting for a marriage proposal. It should not be the venue for a crack-addled maniac to go cold turkey in.
R is for Rainbow Rhythms.
A place with no boundaries. Let it all go, my super luminaries.
S is for Suze, Big Suze.
Two words, mental posho.
T is for Twirl.
Add Mccoys and Ribena to a Twirl, and you have yourself a terrific snacking trifecta. Warning: may cause sucking off.
U is for Usbourne, Jeremy Usbourne.
Musician, chlamydia haver, Mr Nice lover, opportunist Christian, grubby deal maker, phone pig, janitor, shit-hot bongista.
V is for Various Artists.
They reckon the two-to-three-year setback is worth it, just to fuck people with iPods.
W is for Wake Cake.
Gerard loved the red team.
X is for Xmas.
Pictionary is a made up game, potatoes are the best bit, cauliflower is not traditional.
Y is for Yalta.
Recreatable with some models of historical interest, not dolls.
Z is for Zeus.
Project Zeus is the unworkable attempt to merge Sales with Marketing. Might have been a goer if Mark’s aims were less diffuse.